What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
When are your genitals available?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
