that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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