do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
