I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize