i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
