i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
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