i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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