did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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