im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Just took my morning after pill in the library
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
