they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
