Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
