google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
