i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
