i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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