wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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