so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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