If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize