everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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