Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize