Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
only you would photoshop your dick
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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