The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I want you more than these girls want KFC
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
