Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
MIDGETS
????
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
