I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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