The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
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