the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
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