we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
my phone needs a breathalizer
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
