she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
