home. puking in laundry basket.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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