You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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