What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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