i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
