hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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