i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
