Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
