He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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