Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
