I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
