i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
