dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
