Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
