Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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