Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
We are all done wearing pants today
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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