You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
We just shotgunned beers for America
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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