So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
