he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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