And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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