Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Hippo gnu deer
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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