He asked me if I "almost moaned"
smell my finger.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Randomize
