i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
