He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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