I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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