The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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