hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize
