He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize