four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
