Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
17 year olds will be the death of me.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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