Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
