At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
