): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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