Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just gargled with NyQuil
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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