Please, let me fuck your mom
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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